If there is one thing I’ve learned on my self-work journey, it’s that affirmations are not one-size-fits-all.
How many times have you recited, “I am smart. I am kind. I am important.” And still felt dumb, ugly, and unwanted?
The power of affirmations are felt when they speak to a very specific need you have. Without addressing that need, other positive thoughts will come along and sit on the surface, without ever penetrating.
I think we’ve all been there before.
Here’s a trick I’ve discovered helps you get quickly to the core affirmation(s) for you.
Start by journaling the following:
What were your relationships at home like, growing up?
What harmful phrase do you remember being told the most?
What do you remember not having enough of?
As a result of the last two questions, what did you need to hear more of, back then?
Doing this exercise will usually point to a deep seated need that may not have been fulfilled in your early development. As adults, it becomes our responsibility to fulfill those needs that weren’t met, or we’ll spend our whole lives waiting for someone else to make us whole. The reality is, people have their own stuff in the way of seeing ours. We must see and fill ourselves first.
To give you an example, I will share what comes up for me when reflecting on the four questions above.
I often felt rejected at home and like my talents were not valuable. Although my school performance was impressive and I excelled in many extracurricular activities, I would often hear the phrase, “you’ll end up a Jack of all trades, leader of none.” While well meaning, this statement was unproductive in motivating my efforts to succeed in all areas. It also felt like we would be in poverty forever.
The things I needed to hear most were: “You are accepted, and your talents are valuable.”
Here’s how I spin those simple affirmations into powerful ones that I now cling to and see results:
“My talents bring me abundance and wealth.”
“I wholly accept myself, and align with others who accept me wholly as well.”
I am now living the truth of these words today.
What did you need to hear more of in your youth? How can you construct it into affirmations that help you rewrite the story you tell yourself?
Once you’ve discovered a few that are right for you, speak them over yourself on a daily basis. Speak them until you begin to believe (and see) it for yourself again.
But don’t stop there. Get the help you need in therapy or looking forward with a coach. Affirmations are only one part of the equation. Having someone walk through these topics with you gets you to the root quicker, and back to the magic of living.
Try this trick to get quick affirmations that work for you.
When you’re ready to go deeper, schedule time for a discovery call with a coach that aligns with your needs.
