From the Desk of Bex and the Heart of God: Reflections from my Journal Part 1

I finally get what they mean, when they say, ‘God can’t bless who you pretend to be.” It’s not that He can’t, it’s that we won’t let Him, until we get there. Where do I mean by there? There; where you actually are, not where you want to believe you are or where you need others to believe you are for your survival. There; in all of the debt, and fear and shame and guilt that keeps you from seeing that you are actually worthy of help and of where you’re going. Because even in the face of all of that, you are. 

You’re worthy of help, and you’re worthy of what is coming. But that pit of shame you hide in when no one is looking, the same one you push God out of because you fear you must dig yourself out before you ask Him for anything else. The pit that’s keeping you in the low vibration that pushes your true blessings away. The one that repels, rather than attracts the life you want. God wants to meet you there. He wants to tell you the truth and pull you out. But we feel like we need to ignore it to get out. Pretend we’re not there. Pretend we’re okay. Being honest and getting there is where we find His help. 

Anything else is us pretending we don’t need His help. 

How can we get help with our debt, or other barriers, if we pretend they don’t exist? We jump to other prayer requests or we get the blessing to take care of the debt and we use it prioritize something else. This is why God can’t bless where we pretend to be. Because we’ll be spinning in circles trying to get out of the pit by mis-prioritizing the blessing. Not knowing that God needs to clear those barriers in order to give us what we actually want. So we have to go there. To the depths. To the truth. 

And if you’re not there yet… if you still feel the need to act as if it’s all good, and going to work out, and all of the positive things we tell ourselves without truly surrendering to the reality that we can’t breathe, we’re tired, we’re sad, borderline depressed, and don’t know how to make it stop….

Don’t worry, He’s a gentleman, He’ll wait.

Today’s Assignment:

Write out all of your problems today. Include the ones you don’t mention. Then give them to Him. Sit quietly and see what insights Your Maker wants to share with you on how to move forward from them.

Don’t miss out on your blessings trying to get them out of order. Start from where you truly are. He’ll surely meet you there. 

(Starting a series that his been on my heart for some time now, where I share vulnerable excerpts and entries from my journal. I feel God has a lot to say through me, and I have not been obedient with it. This is just a warm up. They get spicier. Stay tuned.)

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