Loving Yourself Unconditionally as an Adult

There are main two forms of unconditional love, that which comes from God for all, and the love that parents have for their kids.

When a child makes a mistake, their parents aren’t rushing to find a replacement. When we mess up, God is not looking for the receipt in hopes to take us back either? But when we enter relationships, there is absolutely the chance that if the person does not meet our standards, we begin to consider who may.

We often expect to find unconditional love outside of these contexts (God + parents), and I think it’s time we accept that it is rare. Why do I know this? Because most people don’t even have unconditional love for ourselves.

We are so ready to throw ourselves away when we mess up. We won’t even look in the mirror some days because we don’t think we’re pretty enough. And yet, we hope that someday, someone will come along and over look that.

No. It has to start within us. We otherwise attract what we are. If we don’t love ourselves, we attract people who won’t know how to either. And this pattern will continue, until we love ourselves enough to walk away from those.

We cannot expect to receive from someone else what we are not able to give to ourselves.

Now there are some exceptions to this rule. But many have to first pass the test of self love before experiencing the love that we desire from another.

Too many of us feel that our mistakes make us unworthy of our needs and desires. We live thinking we must have done something to deserve certain circumstances, and feeling unworthy of anything good. When we mess up, we torture ourselves with judgment and harsh thoughts. That is not love.

God and our parents (if they are playing their role well) will love us through that. 

If we cannot love and think highly of ourselves through our mistakes, we should not expect someone else to. We should instead focus on becoming someone who unconditionally loves themselves.

How do we do this? Simply notice how you speak yourself when you are not at your best. And change it if it’s not reflective of love. Chances are you inherited that judgement from someone else. And you will only attract more of it, until you decide to be different.

If you are a harsh critic of yourself, you’ll likely attract men or women with the same perspective of you until you break it. 

Love yourself first.


Coach Bex

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