When you don’t feel safe… Part 2

I’ve relied so heavily on faith in this season. I mean, yes I knew a little bit of Spanish, but I didn’t know the city I would plant myself in was where not much English at all was spoken. I encountered ‘angels,’ who would pop up just in the nick of time to help me translate, when they saw a waiter losing patience with me. 

My Spanish significantly improved over that year in Costa Rica. Now I’m working on strengthening my Yoruba in my native land, Nigeria. This journey has been one of self-exploration, but it has also been me on a mission to kick fear in the face. 

Traveling solo as a woman is loaded with fears all by itself.

What makes this journey in Nigeria such an important part of my journey to conquering fear is my younger brother died here of an extreme case of malaria in 2009.

Because of this, I vowed never to come, 1) because I saw it as the place that needlessly took my brother, and 2) I feared suffering the same fate. In addition to this, my father, was snatched from us and deported back to Nigeria when I was only 4-years old. This was the start of my abandonment issues. Both of these tragedies presented the need for all the self-work I’ve done over the last few years and that strengthen my passion for helping women recover from tragedy through life coaching.

My dad eventually died here too in 2011, and I never got to have a relationship with him.

These painful experiences, coupled with the abundance of scary headlines associated with Nigeria (kidnapping, ritual killings, extortion, corruption, etc.), gave me plenty of reason to never come. But I did. Because more than fearing for my physical safety, I feared never being able to experience and appreciate the culture from which I was produced. Knowing my heritage and foundation is so important to me and is essential to healing my identity and creating a new foundation. I could not let fear stop me from this. It would have limited in so many ways down the line. So God said go, and I am here.

To date, I have not fallen sick, contracted malaria or experienced any of the crazy things my family feared was certain to be my fate based on the headlines. By God’s grace, I never will.

I had to trust that if God was with me, and He lead me here, then He would not allow any such thing to befallen. And He’s been very faithful on His word in that regard.

Every single day, women are faced with so many fears. Fear of failure, abuse, abandonment, homelessness, loss of income. And these fears hold us back from having the impact we are meant to have on the world. 

I am a creator, a writer, an advocate of joy in all circumstances, and I’ve always wanted to travel the world. In the last 18 months alone, I’ve taken 20+ flights and seen 6 countries. I’m literally finally doing it. But I never would have started, if tragedy didn’t force me to put myself first.

There is so much we never give ourselves the chance to heal from. Breakups, moves, toxic work environments, micro-aggressions, major-aggressions, accidents, actual assaults, we just pack it on and keep it moving, because who is going to take on these responsibilities?

But the truth is, we never get to be that woman in our dreams, if we never address the pain.

We are nurturers, but we must first nurture ourselves and create stability within ourselves so that these fears do not cripple us. 

This is why I coach. 

I’ve spent the last two years of my life recreating stability within and externally, so that I can continue to have an impact on this world. 

Since 2017, I’ve been working with women one-on-one to strategize how to enter their next level, while navigating fear and disappointment. Always are we moving forward, adjusting our soil, sowing new seeds and bearing better fruits.

“Go Be Her,” is a glimpse of the tools I use to help women align with their truest selves and grow from there, without the influence of fear and other people’s opinions.

I hope that the women I encounter and that encounter this book will gain clarity about themselves and how to live a life of ease. A life not dictated by fear.

Stay tuned for Part III…

---

‘Go Be Her: Your Self Coaching Guide Back to You’ is the perfect personal coaching companion for you. With 70+ prompts and affirmations for you to flip through daily, you’ll be feeling more like yourself than ever and ready to become the woman you always knew you could be.

Purchase your copy now.