The boyfriends I’ve had never really asked about my business. I think that’s been a major deciding factor for me.
Pouring into someone else’s business while yours is invisible is not a good feeling.
But I also get men only being able to focus on stability for their future family, before they can have the capacity to focus on something else.
To a certain degree, it’s noble. It says, “I don’t expect your livelihood to sustain us in the future, I need to provide, so let me put the pedal to the medal, blinders on, to get us there.
And on the other hand, is having both too much to ask for?
To answer my own question, a fully established man who has met all his goals and doesn’t have his hands in his business or career any more, will be able to pour into you. All the other options are self-focused, and rightfully.
In the back of their mind, they’re always thinking, “If I fail, no one is saving me.” Because all their lives, they’ve been told they are the savers.
And, perhaps, where we have gone wrong as society is making men believe they are the backups to God. If God don’t save us, so and so will. They are trained to be the protectors of the women and the “man of the house” and those are big roles to feel without training, without the proper backing.
They’re expected to do it even with dad’s who did not set the example. They are expected to even if they were abused and never got help. They are expected to even if they were never expected to do anything else in the house but be a boy, because, “boys will be boys.” None of that is training them and it’s not impressing upon them the need for God in His life in order to be a good, strong, successful man. They’re just expected. And to a degree allowed to believe that God is optional.
But I could be wrong. Change my mind about this, if I am.
And maybe our parents did their best. And we are all figuring out this God thing. And He is actually well pleased with the progression of where we are going in terms of men actually finding God now, by His divinely orchestrated plan. And we just need to keep moving forward and watch how things align for His glory.
And if you see that too, let me know.\
What I just shared is an example of how your mind can hold both pessimistic and optimistic views. One to some extents may sound delusional, depending on who is listening. Where do you fall on the spectrum? Are you hopeful? Do you see it differently? Or are you painting the negative pattern that is repeating itself.
I think breaking generational curses is breaking generational mindsets that have been held about circumstances, and adopting a new mindset that then paints a better reality.
Yes things may have been a certain way. But they are going differently for other people. Take on the mindset of someone who has experienced the good of life too. Then you will start to embody somoene who deserves it and start to find yourself around more people with those outcomes. And then they will be yours too.
But also, I think that’s God’s will for us to. To not be bound to the past, but be thrilled about the possibility of a future where he makes the past irrelevant. I think that’s what He would want. I think ultimately that is where is taking this.
And maybe you see if differently. And its left to be discovered which is true. But maybe if you focus on the thing (pessimistic vs. optimistic) that brings the most fruit into your life.
And personally, pessimism has brought me depression, sadness, fear, confusion. And while optimism has brought me many a disappoint, it also brings me peace, hope, moments of excitement, great conversations, positive feelings, joy, and more. So I choose to be optimistic. And I choose to believe that I will meet a man, and we will click, and it will make sense, and we will love and support each other into oblivion. But most importantly, we will just enjoy being each other’s friend in life for life.
I like that idea.
And maybe he will need more support than I do in my business, but he will like me enough to talk to me about it. Amen. 🙂
Just adding that little sjuge at the end just in case my man is going to be in a stage, where I am supporting him more because he isn’t yet established. Which by the way, will likely be the case, because ‘like attracts like’ and I am not yet fully established either. I think where we mess up, is we ignore this rule of life and we attach to people who are like us, and we are not being honest, or who are not like us, and we are not being honest. The product is confusion. Either admit why you are both there, and fix it. Or admit you are not alike and live peaceably according to your mutual aims/desires. But at the end of the day, just love each other through it into the next season. Whether that is together or a part. Stop holding things so tightly and see where it takes you.
We are so controlling. Just be and let live and move forward with what continues to align with who you want to be.
I know that sounds very ethereal and anti-God. But it’s so God. As I have been experiencing Him and this fruitful life.
And that’s just a value to me. Live a fruitful life.
So what’s your value, and build your optimism around that. Maybe it is material. And that’s ok. Maybe it’s not, but you’ve made it that and confused the algorithm. Get back to your true self and your true likes, and it will put you back on a path toward becoming who you actually are.
Does that sound fluffy? But that’s how it actually is. Based on my research and working with women, these are my findings. This is how I see it unfolding, and they’d probably agree and tell you.
If you are resonating with it too, then maybe you’re one of us, or maybe it’s all of us. And this is the truth we seek.
I’m Bex. An Author and ACC Certified Life Coach. My latest book, ‘Go Be Her: Your Self Coaching Guide Back to You’ is the perfect personal coaching companion for you. With 70+ prompts, exercises and affirmations for you to flip through daily, you’ll be feeling more like yourself than ever and ready to become the woman you always knew you could be.
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